My thoughts, part 1. [humans' thoughts aren't limited]

Hi. New blog. :) So hard to make.. no interested to decorate so much since people only read your posts. Yesh, my xanga account is abandoned. :) bye bye. So here's my new posts, in a new blog. :) yay.


i feel very uneasy these few days. it feels like everything is not going right like it suppose to be. my expressions and emotions are messed up. i feel alright and happy, but i don't smile often and always quiet. when my friends asks whats wrong, i don't know how and what to answer, cause i don't know either. possibilities:
i AM sad, but i try to be happy.
; my surroundings are feeling different. e.g. friends. [they are more ignorant than usual]
; not sleeping well.
; not sleeping well means i'm tired.
; all the worries and stress cause PMR is around the corner. [i know its easy. i CAN worry, can't i?]
; personal stuff i live with everyday.
; no reason.

i feel random+emotion-less. i can frown, but not sad. i can laugh, but not happy. i'm being very timid, very.. me. not us, not we, but me. i'm clueless why. i sometimes wonder, is there something wrong with me? mentally. if a question has been asked for me to answer, my brain will stop for a split second and, my answer will be, "i don't know." though i know the answer. its either a habit or it's just, me. i sometimes feel i do things for people and at the same time, i'm not.

help.

they say when you're sad, it's good to cry to reduce the pain. i find it, untrue. it makes me feel worse. it makes me think more unhappy, past events, which cause me to cry more. i realised that i keep grudges. big grudges, not small ones. [big-matter grudges] reasonable ones. :(


my first post ever.
JaMie~*